


Guilt

by idrilhadhafang



Series: 30 Day OT3 Challenge [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 30 Day OT3 Challenge, Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Fluff and Angst, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, Mild Blood, Multi, Polyamory, Protective Poe Dameron, Protective Rey (Star Wars), Redeemed Ben Solo, Resistance Member Ben Solo, Sharing a Bed, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 08:47:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17200337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: After the Battle of Crait, Ben Solo struggles to get to sleep.





	Guilt

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Prompt: Sleeping
> 
> Author’s Notes: For the 30 Day OT3 Challenge, which I’m doing because writer’s block: http://bearspeak.tumblr.com/post/30024158677/30-day-ot3-challenge. Doing this out of order because, again, writer’s block.

His nights had usually been troubled, he wasn’t going to lie. When he was younger, he’d had frequent nightmares about a planet that he couldn’t quite piece together at the time, being razed by war — and numerous other instances of blood and violence. It had been one of many factors that had led Luke to try and kill him, just because he seemed to be “evil” and “tainted”. 

Now he had Poe, and Rey — and he wasn’t sure he deserved them. They had their own room on the Milennium Falcon long after they had left Crait, probably the first moment of peace that they’d had in a very, very long time. He could cherish it, for the moment, Rey with her hair down, sleeping on his right side, Poe sleeping on his left, he himself sandwiched in the middle. BB-8 was powered down for the night, and it seemed that of everyone in the Falcon, Ben Solo was the only one who couldn’t sleep. 

Snoke wasn’t dead. Not yet. And he was still lurking in the crevices of Ben’s mind. Ben wondered if it would be that way when he was in his fifties or so, the old monster waiting to strike. 

Rey stirred a bit. Then, “Ben?” Her voice was a bit groggy. 

Ben nodded. “Did I wake you?”

”It’s all right.” Rey sent him a faint smile. “I could feel you. You couldn’t quite sleep.”

Ben sighed. “That’s one way to put it.”

Poe stirred as well, murmuring softly about needing to beat the wampa at sabaac. Stars knew what his dream was about. Ben was just glad it wasn’t one of those torture nightmares. Yet, he reminded himself. He’d hurt Poe and Rey. He knew he was lucky that he was even allowed in their bed at all. 

“You okay?” Poe said. “Both of you?”

”I couldn’t sleep,” Ben said. “And I think I woke Rey up.”

Rey smiled. “It’s all right.”

”Want to talk about it?” Poe said. 

“Just the usual. Blood, nightmares...plenty more. Back when I was younger, it was a typical night for me.”

He couldn’t say he was used to the look of pain in both their faces. He didn’t deserve them. He didn’t know how he got so lucky; he truly didn’t. 

“You’re safe now, Ben,” Poe said. “We can fight the nightmares for you.”

”You don’t have to — ”

”It’s our choice, Ben. We want to do this for you,” Rey said. “It’s something we’re going to do from now into the future.”

Ben swallowed. He was lucky, truly. More than he knew. 

“I don’t deserve either of you.” he said. 

“You do,” Rey said. “More than you know.”

Poe nodded. “We’re not going to leave you.”

Ben settled into the pillows. He was aware, as Poe and Rey snuggled up next to him, how small they were — Rey was thin and deceptively fragile, Poe was short and slight. It only made him want to protect them more, even though they could hold their own in a fight. There was a tiny scar near Poe’s mouth from the interrogation that hadn’t quite healed, and he kissed his fingertips and touched them to that scar. It wouldn’t make it better, but it would heal the hurt somewhat. 

“I’d kill the galaxy for both of you,” he murmured. 

“Don’t go that far.” Poe said. 

“All right. But I would do anything to protect you.”

”We would too,” Rey said. “Go to bed. We’ve got you.”

Ben drifted off, feeling safe for the first time in a long while in his life. 


End file.
